its raining. or was just. i just walked in it. i feel absolutely wonderful.

i still have a lot of things bottle up inside...but i feel....healthier. like...i needed this rain.

i think i might just do the things i say from now on. the rain refreshed a whole bunch of feelings/ambitions/memories and made me want to prove that i can do things i say i will.

i love the rain. i want to go back out in it. i want to go for a walk. i want to wander around and talk. but nobody's home. everyone's at work. i want to enjoy this weather so much.

it smells sooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO comforting outside. so beautiful. rain in the summer. after no rain for awhile.

*sigh* for once...i don't feel....sad. i feel....normal. i feel comfortable enough to just...be me.

and in closing i'd like to say:

"any takers?"

oh. and i'm not so mad at dj....because i realized he's always going to be jealous. and....well pffffft on him. also he made me laugh a lot last night, when i needed it most to be honest. i feel a lot better just knowing he's actually there to care...sometimes it feels like nobody else is.

annnnd in other news.....because i'm not proud of it.

i think i might cancel going to school in september.

i don't want to. but financial reasons are kind of hinting i can't afford to go AND to move out...and right now moving out is much more desirable. and....needed.

time for some rice!

i'm gonna open my window and listen to it rain until it smells like rain in my room. and then i'll get this....stoned happy look on my face (much similar to the one i have now of thinking about sitting there listening to the rain....rawr!)

toodles.