the random things that pop into my mind mystify me.

i'd like to know what causes me to think about....for instance....caterpillars. out of nowhere i mean.

or think about the times when i was young, and unaware of all the shit i'd be going through.

when i was 12...13...maybe even up to 14, i had this perfect picture of how we'd go to school. and by we i mean me and all my friends in junior high. we'd all graduate together. spend our last summer together travelling the country. then all go to the same school together....and everything would be great. and we'd all be friends FOREVER.

needless to say, a whole lot of NONE of that has happened.

i've done exactly no travelling. i mean i've gone to calgary...suuure thats really traveling, but none of these road trips we always dreamed about. and at this rate, only one of us will be going to school...and she's almost done.

i don't know what i'm trying to get out of my head.

i feel like a failure, but also not...i've done a lot to better myself....but also things should've been done a few years ago.

um. theres more. there always is more. always.

somehow i don't feel right emptying my head/heart on here right now.

i don't know what it is.

something is wrong right now....i think its the not walking in the rain long enough.

which thinking about makes me a bit happier.

i need to vent. but i'm tired of venting onto a keyboard.

badbye.