it saddens me that nobody else is updating. which then makes my time spent infront of this monstronsity i call a computer less than stellar. more along the lines of "decent". ok. that was a lie. infact, i'm thoroughly enjoying any and all time i spend anywhere. and its not just the past like 4 days...but the past 2 weeks or so. i'm just finding myself more....lighthearted?

the past 4 days have been supremely fun though.

and last night ditching S and talking with someone else was even better. kind of like "booya, look at me not paying attention to you - ass hat."

i think i might start typing properly, especially since it's becoming a habit in other mediums (and by that, you'll never know exactly what i mean now will you!?) and as at work it would be a good thing if i didn't have to switch back and forth.

we'll decide on that later.

in other news. i've been blasting the same songs for the past week or so. adding to the assortment more than anything else. i decided last night i wanted to recreate my brock-tape on cd, and as i've yet to actually burn it, i just play those songs, along with others i've newly found (read: BT - never gonna come back down which btw....is pretty nearly my favorite BT song...running a very close second only to remember.)

and also, having brought out some "old songs" i'm now back on my garbage kick. and by kick i mean listening again. and its great. i wonder if this is helping to bring back the happies too? i mean sure things are seemingly going great...but what i mean are...is this permanent or another one of those short term things that eventually bring me back lower than i've ever been. its like a roller coaster only not as fun, and fewer climbs than you'd expect with all the downhills.

what i'm trying to say is. things seem to be going good. and in mostly all areas, not specifically just one. and now that i'm back to listening to some of the older stuff i listened to in high school i'm finding myself having all the same happy thoughts i used to. yes yes, the sad ones are still there, but its just that....they don't matter as much right now.

i like feeling like this.

i hate being so vague. but i've been specific about stuff like this before and well....we need to reopen that barrel of monkeys (although monkeys would be fun to play with....awww cute little disease ridden cute things!). and so for the time being, you'll have to deal with my vagueness, unless of course you decide it's ultimately muy importante that you know, at which point you must inform me of such things and i'll find a way to inform you without informing (i'm using the word inform a lot tonight. its fun stuff.) the entire population of the world. because that would.....suck balls.

and not the chocolate salty chef kind either. sickos! all of you!

i have an immense craving for milk right now, though i know that on my not super well feeling stomach, a cup of milk would be disasterous and i'd end up lying in bed going "i'm going to die!" and then i'd eat something yummy...like pizza (only i have exactly NO money for pizza..its still a thought - and if i was going to die i'd possibly think of spending my last few bucks on a pizza anyways.)

i realized just now that i'm not typing anything specific. more so, its just ramblings from probably the crevices in my brain. i say probably because i'm not sure on the existence of my brain.

on that note, i'm going now. or for a little while.

and for a new thing (that i randomly add to entries, because its always fun.)

music: massive attack - angel

except now its over and its...

life house - you belong to me

eclectic taste methinks!